I would also like to call this book ‘how to prevent cancer’. Lots of important information *A MUST READ.
When in urgent care yesterday, the doctor (whom I’ve never met before) walked into my room and looked at me with a scared reaction. She asked me ‘you’ve had colorectal cancer?’. She proceeded to ask me about my symptoms and how I got diagnosed. It scared her as I am so young and don’t fit the profile. She said ‘that makes me want to get a full body CT scan ASAP’.
It’s not uncommon for young people to have big cancers these days. I do feel as though many of the cancer cells out there have thrived and multiplied due to our lifestyles and diet.
Yes, I’ve been super healthy all of my life until this point, but I can’t blamed my cancer totally on random. Colorectal / colon cancers are inflammatory ones. When I look at my life over the past 10 years, I’ve had many adventurous, fun and happy times, though have carried many stresses with that too. Running a business over the past 3 years, I put 90% of my energy into it and the (good and bad) stresses increased ten fold. My eating habits become more about convenience and I wasn’t taking care of my body as much as I had been.
Don’t get me wrong, in no way do I beat myself up over this. That will not serve my present situation. I got real fuckin honest with myself, made some changes, and stepped forward with great and wonderful integrity. Sure it’s much easier to just eat anything the belly desires, to put off an exercise day, but there are consequences to that. I want to help my body heal and survive.
I have spent most of my life trying to be in control of it. I’ve been too afraid to surrender or fully let someone into my heart and truly connect, so I kept peeps at a distance and dealt with life on my own. If I trusted or empowered anyone around me, I felt out of control. Though at the same time would hold in how I really felt to avoid any conflict. That emotion stored away for another day. That was the old Tracy. The NEW TRACY has stepped forward into vulnerability, because I have been forced to. It’s sometimes scary, and my old patterns arise. I feel like swimming back to the shore and pulling myself out of the vulnerable lake, but I know that doesn’t serve me or anyone in my life. I am so grateful for this new practice! I feel so much more love coming in when I’m open and receive, sometimes taking my breath away, but man it feels good!! I celebrate and love empowering others around me because I get to see who they really are, not the made up person in my mind where I judge them to keep them at bay. I let people in and they hold me up. We take care of each other and that is love, that is life.
I don’t want to hold shit in anymore. The backpacks of crap have gotten too heavy over the years and I am done carrying them. They don’t help me, only slow me down and tire me out. Moving forward I am shining with my true self. Not who people want me to be to make them more comfortable, what I used to do. Some may like me and some may not agree, but hey, that’s so okay, my fellow tribal members are the ones I want to spend my time with on this earth anyway.
We all have fears and stresses, we all crave love and happiness, lets stop getting in our own way and swim in that vulnerability lake together. What joy!~